The Reality of Christ

Self-evaluation: my one resolution

2012-01-29T20:22:00.000-08:00

Generally, if I am going to reflect on something personal, I do it on my other blog, "Dimly as Through a Mirror". We (myself, Dianne, and Chariti) blog here about things the Lord is teaching us, but in a less testimonial/biographical way. However, I am going to make an exception this time, to reflect on the last month.

Here is why, part 1: One of my inspirations for starting this blog was Jonathan Edwards, in particular his Resolutions. These sobering standards which he set for himself and committed to, reminded me of the great importance of eternal things and inspired me to inspire others with a holy tunnel-vision set on God and eternity. Hence this blog.

Here is why, part 2: Towards the end of 2011 I brought a personal situation to the attention of somebody on my (then) church's staff, and was berated for it. My intentions were completely misunderstood in the most negative way possible and I received a verbal lashing (over e-mail). Wanting to work out the situation itself before responding to this leader, I said nothing. I will always regret that I said nothing. Because once some time goes by, it becomes awkward and unnatural later to bring up something so serious. It may be for some sharp-tongued people that they need to discipline themselves to think before they speak. For myself, an incessantly contemplative and intellectual person who is perplexed by people's sudden and emotional responses, I have concluded that I need to discipline myself to speak up, at the very moment. And so my one resolution for 2012 has been, to be more forthright, with everyone, about everything, at every opportunity.

And this was not some vague intention of mine. I was face-to-face with the river I absolutely must ford on the journey of manhood/adulthood. There were times in my college years when I responded to disrespect from a friend by distancing myself from that friend and effectively ending the friendship. Times, plural. Close friendships. My mindset was that if a person will disrespect you, they are not a friend, and that demanding respect only hands them the knife back to stab you again. Granted, there are times to distance oneself from a person, but I was not handling these situations in a mature way. Over time I realized this, and my experience with the church leader brought this truth to a head.

So the following are just some notes of how this has played out through January.

-I speak up for myself with my supervisor at work. She sometimes communicates negative messages in an indirect way, but I respond in a way that is more direct. Not nasty at all. But I did once reply to an e-mail, "Why did you send this to the department, and not just me?" when that e-mail seemingly only involved me and some work I needed to do. I know that even though I can be absent-minded, I work with integrity and do my best before God. And I do a pretty good job. And if that is true, then what can a supervisor complain about?

-I don't want to start aiming for a "perfect record" of standing up for myself, as a way of dealing with past omissions that I regret. I don't want to walk around itching for a confrontation so that I can prove myself again and again. I have to let the past be the past and let God, not myself or my discipline, be my joy.

-In a discussion with coworkers, shared my unpopular, Christian view of homosexuality, that it is a sin. This is something I would have done anyway, but fits the theme.

-Thankful that the Lord brought this whole issue to my attention, even if it was through pain. He disciplines those whom He loves! I know of so many grown men who seem to never address these types of issues in themselves. Think of all the small churches that are essentially run by an aggressive pastor's wife or elder's wife, and the men simply follow! Yikes. As I grow in this, He is sparing me a lot of pain and making me more of a man.

-Sometimes this resolution of mine to be more forthright is an issue of standing up for truth/the Gospel, and sometimes it is about standing up for myself (or perhaps someone else). It may be asked, why would you devote time and energy to standing up for yourself? After all, it's not about you, it's about Him and His glory. To this I would respond, (1) all people are created in the image of God and worthy of respect, (2) this resolution does not make me #1, but rather endorses what is true in all situations, and God is the source, embodiment, and author of *all* truth, (3) friendships flourish in environments of honesty, and lastly (4) it is most respectful to the people around you to be forthright, and it is better for them. It also gives people (in certain situations when repentance is needed) a chance to repent. Doesn't Jesus do that?

God grant me and you the boldness to stand up for ourselves and what is true.

This or that.

2011-12-28T20:56:00.001-08:00

"But even if..."

Powerful. "If" sets up a dichotomy of results.

Having faith in the Lord means not only believing He will come through for you in the way you desire, but trusting that "even if" He does not, you still will worship only Him. You still will trust only Him. I was challenged by those words tonight as I read Daniel 3.

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, "King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty's hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." (Daniel 3:16-18 NIV)

The actions of God did not affect these men's firm faith in Him. So many times, our faith seems to build when we witness a positive act of God. When we see something we like.

"You have proven yourself worthy of another ounce of my faith'" we say, as we subconsciously throw God more spiritual coins as though He moves for our observation and affirmation. We pat Him on the head and close His compartment.

But even if? If God throws a link in your plan. If you get in an accident before a very important endeavor. If you miss your flight before a very important event. If you lose something... Very important to you.

It's in Him we move, we breathe, and have our being (Acts 17:28). So when He moves, should we not move as well? If we are truly moving and breathing and essentially being in God... We cannot help but move as He does.

So when God makes a "wrong move" in your mind, ask yourself... Is He moving wrong, or am I simply refusing to move with Him?

Fear

2011-11-25T14:36:00.001-08:00

I've been meditating a lot on the fear of the Lord, and it's been hitting me a lot that if only I had more fear of God, I would be less consumed with fear of everything else! If to everything God asked us to give up - money, time, relationships, comfort, control, fill in the blank - we immediately jumped up and said "YES!" oh, the things He could do through us if only we had His perspective...

But we can have it!

Jesus praying in the garden of Gethsemane = an example of human suffering with such reverent fear of the Father that it drove Him to the CROSS - where He suffered physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. That Jesus willingly went to the cross in utter submission. Would I do that for God? Would you? Yet if we truly feared God, we would indeed fear what would happen if we didn't obey! Abraham almost slaughtered his son simply because God commanded him to act in obedience (Genesis 22) v. 12 - "'Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."' (By the way, that is such a cool foreshadowing of God sending His only Son to die for us! Did you ever notice that?) God continues to proclaim a blessing on Abraham, promising that through him and his descendants, nations would be blessed! So the question is, who do you fear more?

Psalm 112 is an outline of a person who fears the Lord and what their life looks like. It talks about blessing and prosperity through integrity and generosity. v 7 - "He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord." I think of Job in the Bible. God himself said that Job was a man who feared Him (Job 1:8, 2:3), yet he got bad news after bad news... after bad news! So is that contradictory? Nope! See, I don't think we fully understand blessing until we have perspective. If we view everything (and I mean everything) we have as God's anyway, and reverent fear drives us to complete obedience, nothing we have (or don't have) matters. It doesn't matter if we live in a mansion in the Hollywood Hills or the slums in Ethiopia, if we fear God, we know that we are truly blessed beyond anything we will ever deserve. Yes, Job questioned God, but his perspective was that God is still sovereign, and he trusted that there was a higher purpose.

If only we acted more out of fear for our Creator - think of what we could do!

Pain & Suffering

2011-09-22T14:49:00.001-07:00

pain is pain. regardless of the circumstances, it feels pretty much the same. while uncomfortable and certainly not desirable, it is inevitable. it's also unifying. it causes us to empathize. Empathy is: a deep emotional understanding of another's feelings or struggles. it's what enables us to comfort those who have experienced abuse or trauma, suffered the lost of a loved one, had their heart broken, even if specific circumstances aren't shared. pain is something we all can relate to. human beings also have the remarkable ability to forget pain. we can all remember it, but it's a cerebral memory, not a physical one. it's what enables women to go through childbirth again. to date again after a painful breakup. to trust people after a horrible betrayal.

not only that, we can take comfort in the fact that Jesus experienced pain and suffering while on earth. though I doubt he was ever abused as a child, he comforts those who have been. as a human, he has walked in suffering, and shares ours today. if pain never produced anything life-giving, it would be too despairing. it has to produce something beautiful, or else it would all be, for what? nothing. take comfort in the fact that Jesus not only understands our pain, but he can always turn it around to produce something beautiful. even if it's hard to see in the midst of it, he will use it for good. that's a promise.

Awake with the Dawn

2011-08-09T19:16:00.000-07:00

I like sleep. If I don't have to get up for any particular reason, I'm not gonna. I wish I could be one of those people who get up with the sun, run 5 miles, cook an elaborate breakfast, and be on their 3rd cup of coffee by 7am. Are there people out there like that, you ask? Yep, and I live with them ;) (and love it!) Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little. But still. Awake with the dawn. I heard a song with those lyrics in it. One of my favorite artists, Nichole Nordeman, writes such beautiful music that always touches my soul so deeply and I have the highest admiration, if not a touch of jealousy, for. One of her songs Mercies New, possesses these lines:

Your mercies are new every morning
So let me wake with the dawn

It may hold different meaning to others, but to me, that is desperation. To be so desperate for God's mercies that you need them as soon as possible! I know that if I don't go about my day without the knowledge of my desperate need for God, all I aspire to do is nonsense. If I am not operating in the power, wisdom, compassion, and authority of Him, I'm ineffective. Thank goodness for all those times I acted out of my own strength and wisdom, and God's grace covered it. Imagine if we walked around as desperate for God as the air we breathe. I never want to get used to what happened on the cross. I never want my heart to stop breaking over what happened that day. I know that only through a perpetual broken and humble heart, will God be able to use me.

Why this difficulty?

2011-05-15T19:10:00.000-07:00

Because He loves you. He has in mind to strip you of depending on yourself in ways you didn't even know you were depending on yourself, to humble you and create something beautiful.

Entry #23 - Persistence + Patience = Perseverance

2011-05-03T14:57:00.000-07:00

The persistent widow (Luke 18) did not give up until she was given justice. Jesus likens this parable to our prayer life, encouraging us to be persistent in prayer. God always answers our prayers. Sometimes the answer is "yes," sometimes it's "no," sometimes it's "wait." But He always answers.

James 5:7 - "Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains." I love the comparison of our life being compared to a farmer and his crop. Just as there are seasons in the weather that produce life, we go through seasons as well, and those seasons are necessary for growth. We need the rains as well as the sunshine. And the farmer is patient because he knows his crop is valuable. Anything that is of value is going to take work, effort, and patience.

I think I have been persevering (or trying to), without keeping the persisting + patience part into perspective. Persevering is work. I am tired emotionally and spiritually in my efforts to just "persevere." Having patience can be restful. Persisting is simply not giving up. Together, they equal perseverance. Galatians 6:9 - "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." I don't want to take the easy route that teaches me nothing and produces nothing of value. I want to persevere in patience, and persistence.

Entry #22 - Chasing Glory

2011-01-25T23:53:00.000-08:00

It is my conviction that the answer to a lot of confusion in the American church (as I can speak little about the church in France having never been there) is a renewed passion for and vision of God's glory. His Glory is what we lack, according to a literal reading of Romans 3:23, and His Glory is what the Christian ought to be striving after, according to 2 Corinthians 3:18. Without this perspective, I observe (and you can too) that Christians' attention is turned to rules in many circles. I mean, endless discussion about rules. Some say Christians should be more strict in some area, and some say Christians should be more lax and loving. And the whole conversation centers around Christians, and the rules. I know the routine from 5 years total in Bible college. For the person seeking a more thorough and genuine Christian experience, it seemed that legalism and liberalism were the only two options. Some would angrily state that Christians ought never to drink alcohol, a prohibition the New Testament never gives, because "Christians should be different". Others would get annoyed at this, and instead, join Rob Bell in his equally unbiblical view of hell, summed up in his "provocative" statement that he was more concerned about hell on earth than eternal hell.

This is a sad, sad waste of time. The ultimate pursuit of the Christian life is God Himself, and in all His Glory. How we got so focused on ourselves, I know not, but I know that a desperation for God Himself is the answer. His holiness is the blaring element of ultimate reality that gives coherence to every doctrine; man, sin, depravity, faith, regeneration, and so on. With our weak view of His holiness we flap our gums in vain about the true meaning of Christianity, because Christianity is reconciliation to a God Whom we have been trained by way of distractions not to chase after.

I could write longer on this general topic, and I have. The particular thing I wanted to post about was the actual chasing of His glory, which I have struggled with in mind and soul. So this is a brief thought for anyone else who, like me, is chasing after glory but struggling to know what that even means.

Those who speak predominantly on the glory of God also tend to speak predominantly in abstract terms, which I believe has created an ache and a disconnect for me. What I mean is, I know that knowing and beholding the glory of God should be the source of my ultimate victory over various sins, yet I meander in the same handful of sins over and over. And so when I talk about the transforming power of the glory of God, I speak of something that is true, and an idea that I love, yet one that I am somehow failing to let empower me, day-to-day. So if I dare force this idea on anyone, it makes me a bit of a liar or a quack.

It occurred to me that I am missing out on experiencing the glory of God, because I am thinking of this pursuit in abstract terms. Granted, God is beyond us. But His glory is seen not only in the starry expanse that covers us at night but in the goodness of His ways. I mean the way He would have us live. I mean loving and forgiving each other. I mean staying faithful, both physically and in one's heart, to one's spouse. I mean giving freely to those in need, with a loose grip on one's possessions.

To break it down even further, for Kurt to overcome lust, he is to fight with not only an awareness of God's radiance but a love for marriage, and all it stands for, and how joyous it can be. I must see God's glory reflected not only in stars and mountains and oceans and planets, but in the exclusivity and love of human marriage. I must see God's glory in the keyboard I type this blog with. I must see God's glory in every practical and real thing, and in the way of life illuminated for us in the Gospels and epistles. That is (one aspect of) what it means to truly pursue the beauty and majesty of God in this life. And the ball is rolling.

Entry #21 - Sin

2010-11-24T09:42:00.000-08:00

It's ugly. It's painful. It steals innocence. It has consequences. It causes nothing but death and destruction. Look around you! You can debate and scoff about the Bible and what it says, but the truth is: IT IS TRUTH. The book of Proverbs warns against the foolish, and urges us to pursue wisdom and virtue, lest there be severe consequences. "These men lie in wait for their own blood; they waylay only themselves!" -Proverbs 1:18. I guarantee you that every sin ever committed has not come without a fallout. Trust me. The world's saying "what goes around comes around" stems from what the Bible calls reaping and sowing. You reap what you sow. "Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy." -Psalm 126:5 To me, that is a promise that my God sees every tear I cry, every hurt I've had, every wrong that's ever been done to me. He hears my prayer and sees my heart. He promises restoration and redemption. I don't need man's approval. I don't need validation. The only truth I need to know is that God is my Healer. Protector. Comforter. Defender. And that I will never find a love as true and as unconditional as His. You should try Him out sometime. All it takes is a yes.

Entry #20 - A thought on theology

2010-10-21T13:37:00.001-07:00

Theology is a funny thing. Everything in theology is coherent and unified through the one simple fact of the goodness of God; and the basic human problem of depravity dulls our hearts to the goodness of God. This means that theology is unlike anything else, in that it becomes incoherent and impossible to live out without a work by God on our hearts. Without that awake-ness in our hearts, all the facts and figures of theology are distorted to accommodate the flesh. Conversely, knowing and loving God more, and being awakened to His glory, illuminates His Word in ways that background studies, word studies, and careful exegesis alone simply never could.

Entry #19 - Even in Grief

2010-07-22T14:40:00.000-07:00

..."and had John beheaded in the prison...When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick." -Matt. 14:10-14

Even in his grief, Jesus still ministered. He went away by himself, to be alone and the crowds still followed him. Probably not having any idea what he was going through, or what had happened. They just wanted to be healed. They were almost selfishly focused on their issues. Yet it says that Jesus had compassion on them, and healed their sick.

How many times have we been so wrapped up in our issues or problems that we’ve missed opportunities to minister to the sick and dying in this world?

Entry #18 - Desire Him

2010-05-19T21:15:00.000-07:00

Oh, how every desire betrays me--except the desire for Him. How life becomes a lifeless exercise, and hope becomes a deranged, naked homeless man frantically lurking the city at night, and the heart is mummified, when other desires creep up and demand that they become fixtures in me. How simple things become when no other desire holds me. How daring and confident my heart is when it celebrates Him. How every desire betrays me, but my desire for Him.

God grant that we may desire Him and only Him.

Entry #17- Tables and the Temple

2010-04-19T21:47:00.001-07:00

"Then Jesus entered the Temple and began to drive out the merchants from their stalls. He told them, 'The Scriptures declare, "My Temple will be a place of prayer," but you have turned it into a den of thieves.'"

Those words leapt out at me tonight.

What an ironic scene: the Prince of Peace overturning tables and dismantling displays, throwing everyone off guard with his conviction to preserve what God has set apart.

Christ shows his love for the Church and his love for God in this moment.

For the Church, he shows his desire for an unaltered space, sanctified for communication and worship of God, that is not distracted or tainted in any way.

For God, he shows a core reverence that says God is to be the center of all things and His glory is not to be diminished.

It's what Christ does when He enters the Temple now. He overturns all earthly tables that glitter and shine, all unworthy distractions that commit thievery in our hearts to make way for a perfect and holy path to pray to God.

May Jesus enter into our Temples, our bodies, and overturn the distracting merchant tables of earthly investments to clear the way for worship to take shape.

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God: this is your spiritual act of worship."

Entry #16: Thoughts and Intents of the Heart

2010-04-08T21:25:00.000-07:00

It is a sweet thought indeed: the realization that God knows our hearts.

We, as humans, can only judge what we can see. We are utterly limited to the bindings of appearances.

I once heard that we judge others on their actions and ourselves on our intentions.

Does God judge by either of those standards? or does He judge by criteria we cannot even detect, knowing the full knowledge of the past, present, and future?

Writing in my journal tonight, searching for the words to describe my current circumstances and reflections, I managed to get something out on paper to remember for years to come. Then, I stumbled upon some Oswald Chambers. ...The tears that came!

My thoughts turned to gratitude: God knows that my heart towards Him is no less sincere and passionate and eloquent than any other heart. He sees more than even I see in me.

In this world, there will always be someone better. Your record will be broken. Someone younger, newer, and fresher will replace you at the very thing you are the absolute best at.

Our God, though... Not Him. He does not put me in a category. I don't need to spend x amount more time worshiping Him in song. I don't need to go on x amount of missions trips to impress Him. He wants my heart. He wants me to be righteous, living by faith. And that is how He makes His call.

So be it!

Entry #15 - Psalm 46:10

2010-03-17T21:25:00.000-07:00

"Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). This verse is so very popular, and for good reason--what person, particularly a Christian and a lover of God, would not want to go to God and find rest from his stresses? I have heard this verse everywhere, and songs and meditations based on it. Today I found out that "Be still and know that I am God" does not make up the entire verse in which it is found. Here is the full verse of Psalm 46:10--

"Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!"

Taken in context we see that this verse is not so much about God running His hands through our hair as we disconnect from life while sitting in His lap, as much as it is about God's restraining and sometimes vengeful power over all the armies of the world (vv. 6-9...whom or what does God tell to be still?) and His clear intent to be exalted by people throughout the world (v.10). Quite a different story, isn't it? Different attitude, different focus, different aim. So why does the full verse not appear on coffee mugs, refrigerator magnets, and in songs? Can we not take comfort in the same things in the same way as the psalmist? Do we really believe that every time we read about God's passion to be exalted, and every verse we read from Paul that ends in "to the glory of God", that it is some kind of throw-away phrase? Do we believe that the more important thing is us?

Since listening to men like John Piper and Paul Washer my eyes have been opened to God's passion for His glory as revealed in Scripture. It's astonishing how I would often gloss over these phrases and statements. Not always--I was aware of God's passion for His glory and excited about it myself--especially the revealing of that glory, whether through world evangelism or the return of Christ. What took me much longer (ultimately at the redirection of said preachers) was seeing the preeminence of this passion among all of God's passions.

The Bible's testimony of this is both uncompromising and simple. God is intent on making Himself known, and being exalted throughout the earth. And for me, this is a fortress and a refuge. A mighty fortress is our God.

Entry #14 - God... and things.

2010-03-16T01:53:00.001-07:00

There is a point when the things you care about in your life can either be aids in your walk with Christ or deterrents. It's a hard question to ask yourself: is this possession/profession/person something that brings glory to God? Does it help me to honor Him, to thank Him for its presence and purpose in my life? Or does it distract me from Him altogether, causing me to miss the gratitude I should be giving? Everything God created is designed for the good of God's kingdom. That includes things that help us or entertain us, the talents we can enjoy and use, the careers and friendships we invest in and help grow... God's heart is pro-creativity.

So where does it all go south?

For me, it was when I forgot that God wanted to be involved. It was as though I decided to pursue this investment, and God was mutually exclusive. My God time and my thing time were two separate entities. Oftentimes, I would ask forgiveness for thinking about this thing too much, and when I was doing my thing, I would feel weird acknowledging God through it all.

Any thoughts of God pervading my thing time or changing my thing time altogether were exciting but unnerving... I wanted God to take part, in fact I wanted God to breathe through it and dwell in it because my thing time brought me happiness. Now, all I needed was for my thing time to bring me joy, as well.

And for that to happen, I knew God's presence was a prerequisite.

It's a thin line between enjoying creation and worshiping it. Make it clear to God that you want to stay on the right side, and He will help you... It might hurt, but He will help you.

Entry #13 - Wasting Time

2010-03-11T16:21:00.000-08:00

"I believe the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time."
--Donald Miller, "Blue Like Jazz"

When I read that statement, something resonated within me. When I think back over the years I wasn't really following God whole-heartedly, I realize that although I had plenty of friends, plenty of money, and was all-around a pretty happy person, I wasn't engaging God; I wasn't making Him part of my everyday life, and in doing so I wasn't walking in the fullness of who He created me to be. I was never depressed, wasn't doing drugs, sleeping around or enticing people to Satan-worship, but I also wasn't building the kingdom of God. Sure, I invited people to church, even sang on the worship team, but I was wasting time. I was not investing in my future, or future-minded at all.

I realize that the enemy had me right where he wanted me. I justified everything I did because it wasn't really "that bad," (like not doing drugs or something crazy), and I actually was involved at church. But there were very specific areas in my life that I would not let God touch. I didn't want to give control over... but that's a whole other blog.

My point is, what are we doing with our time?? Are we just doing the "Christian" thing, and going to church, reading our daily Bible devotions, reciting our prayer lists and staying out of "trouble"? Or are we engaging the Holy Spirit by actively pursuing His word, seeking His face, and getting on our hands and knees (and sometimes faces!) and crying out to God? I grow more in my spiritual walk when I'm consistently (just to clarify - "consistent" doesn't necessarily mean "daily") in the Word, and when I can find quit times with Jesus, than I ever do just going to church.

I regret nothing. Everything I went through made me the person I am today. And I know that God forigves and restores, but it makes me sad to think about all the lives I could have changed or influenced, and the growth I could have achieved had I been serving God whole-heartedly.

My challenge to you is to think about this: which areas of your life do you still have control? We all have at least one.

Entry #12 - Give, Help, Serve.

2010-02-22T21:27:00.001-08:00

I want to give...

All of me. What is the purpose of my body, my hands, my feet, without their outpouring?

One of the ugliest sights is the vision of someone holding onto themselves with fists clutched tight, their skin rippling with the grip, their arms inhibited from catching any falling thing.

Whatever we do to the least of God's children, to the least of our brothers and sisters, to the hardest people to love or the easiest people to love, we do directly to God.

I don't want to live with starving God. I don't want to face the harsh reality that I have ignored His needs, His cries for help.

Granted, my God does not need me; He is not helpless in the slightest. He invites me. He welcomes me into a life of giving, of serving, of employing myself as His instrument. What greater purpose is there?

Once I've got that attitude dwelling within me, I must only ask God to show me how to direct my passion. Every morning, every afternoon... I ask that He shows me a need that I might fill it.

Eternal significance starts with humility here on Earth.

What can we do for each other?

Entry #11 - Walking through meadows and walls

2010-02-20T21:40:00.000-08:00

The path Christ calls us to is a varied, winding path. Faithfulness to Him and His truth brings us into all sorts of contradictions--being loved and hated, being envied and pitied, being alone and in profound fellowship, laughing and weeping, meditating and preaching.

The novelty of this exotic metaphorical locale is not enough. It may sound heroic at first hearing. But really it is nothing of our own doing. It is even nothing of any value whatsoever, if not empowered, inspired, and inscribed by a mesmerized and passionate love for God. Without that love, it is also impossible to get through.

Only this love for God, awakened by the Holy Spirit, is powerful enough to take a person through all of these ups and downs--these meadows and walls. And rest assured that both the meadows and the walls will come. Meadows where you are loved and celebrated, and where the companionship you share with other believers is amazing. Walls where you are rejected by people--sometimes even by those claiming Christ, as a result of taking His Word seriously. Walls where you struggle even to know what obedience would look like in this particular situation.

Be prepared to excitedly cherish those meadows and to awkwardly walk into those walls. Do what needs to be done and fix your heart on Him through it all.

Entry #10 - Pray

2010-01-29T22:15:00.000-08:00

This is not an entry about prayer. This is a challenge and an appeal for you to pray before you close this window or move on from this blog.

If you would like to see your church more awakened to the reality of Christ, to be more sensitive to sin, to be more awed at God, to be the irresistible force it was meant to be, through the power of God alone (the only real power that can bring this about), please pray.

Pray for your pastor and his family. Pray for the godly to be more influential, and for the influential to be more godly. Pray for your brothers and sisters, and name them as brothers and sisters before God.

Entry #9 - The Family of God/Surprised by Love

2010-01-16T19:22:00.000-08:00

In the first post, I talked about how I wanted to encounter God. I spoke about it mainly as an individual--I wanted to experience God in the fullest way possible as me. My list toward the end of the entry included wanting to weep, wanting to fear, and wanting to be comforted. I still want these things. But it was a narrow view of what it would mean to be awakened to the reality of Christ. Narrow can serve a purpose for a little while as we strive for some form of closeness to God, but as God's people we do not call the shots as to deciding who He is--and what the reality is that He calls us to.

This is a confession and a rejoicing. The confession is that my heart was closed. Through several events in only a week, God opened my heart to see that in my surroundings here I was in the midst of a family. I had come with an all business mindset--"give me the facts, the models, the techniques of ministry, so that I can be on my way." And the change came when I realized, not that I was in the midst of a family, but that this family had begun seeing me as one of its own. It felt very human, and I say that in the positive sense of the term, the God's image-bearing relational being sense. I did not come to an intellectual conclusion. Rather I was smited by the kind words of a young girl I hardly know. So I confess my undue cynicism, skepticism, and my closed heart. And I rejoice in God's kindness. And I rejoice in the family of God.

To embrace the "reality of Christ" in the form of the written word, and the spoken word, and yet miss the incarnational reality of Christ as represented in the family of God would be an absurd, pathetic, self-harming and strange form of hypocrisy. Be careful, because it is possible to believe strongly in something and yet miss it when it's right before your face.

I feel like this has gotten ironically wordy.

That's enough for now.

Entry #8 - Why I love the Church

2010-01-12T14:12:00.000-08:00

So this is my first blog contribution for this blog. Thanks to Kurt for inviting me to contribute. I am simply copying a past entry from my personal blog. I will be contributing new stuff very soon, but just wanted to share this....

Why I Love The Church

   I have noticed that a lot of my blog posts have been kind of negative. I did not mean for this to happen it just kind of did. I have been thinking long and hard lately about my view of the Church, and the tone set by my views and the views of others that I talk to and listen to. It is beginning to occur to me that it has become the cool new trend to point out everything that is wrong with Christ's Church. I know that this is something that has been going on for awhile, but it seems to become more and more rare that I read or listen to something that is positive about the Church. I am always hearing how traditional, new age, unrelevant, sneaky, and boring it is. Sad to say most of those comments come from regular Church attenders.

  I am in no way a head in the clouds type of guy, I know that the Church as a whole has some issues today, but with that being said I have started to stop and hesitate before insulting Christ's Church. I look at it this way. The Church is symbolized as Christ's Bride in the Bible. As a husband, I have to wonder how I would feel if every time my wife was talked about, she was talked about negatively. It would not take too much of it before I was ready to bust some heads. Which leads me to wonder, if perhaps some of the negativity that we use so much of to speak about the Church has any correlation to its success?

   The first rule of sales is you have to believe in the product your selling, and I wonder sometimes if we actually believe in the Church? We preach and teach about its necessity, and the good that it will do for people, but our closed door conversations, hall way monologues, and frequent blog writings seem to suggest that we don't believe in our own product sometimes.

Anyway I say all of that to say this. I would like to hear your comments about why you love the Church? I don't want any negative comments, there is plenty of time for that and if you want any examples just read back through a few of my posts. I'll go first.

I love Christ's Church because it is the only place I know that gives everyone regardless of age, race, and history, meaningful and everlasting significance.

What's Yours?

Entry #7 - Jonathan Edwards' 'Resolutions'

2010-01-11T00:01:00.000-08:00

If you have not read Jonathan Edwards' Resolutions, I suggest you do so. They were written to himself, a form of self-mentoring to keep himself focused on what he should be focused on, doing what he should be doing, etc. There are 70. I have decided to read through them every Sunday night this year (2 for 2 so far). The following are some that I thought I would share.

7. Resolved, never to do anything that I should be afraid to do if it were the last hour of my life.

11. Resolved, when I think of any theorem in divinity to be solved, immediately to do what I can toward solving it, if circumstances don't hinder.

14. Resolved, never to do anything out of revenge.

22. Resolved, to endeavor to obtain for myself as much happiness in the other world as I possibly can, with all the power, might, vigor, and vehemence, yea violence, I am capable of, or can bring myself to exert, in any way that can be thought of.

38. Resolved, never to speak anything that is sportive or a matter of laughter on the Lord's day.

47. Resolved, to endeavor to my utmost to deny whatever is not most agreeable to a temper that is good, and universally sweet and benevolent, quiet, peaceable, contented and easy, compassionate and generous, humble and meek, submissive and obliging, diligent and industrious, charitable and even, patient, moderate, forgiving and sincere; and to do at all times what such a temper would lead me to. Examine strictly every week, whether I have done so.

Love you all. Thanks for reading.

Entry #6 - Cold Hard Cash

2010-01-04T23:17:00.000-08:00

Money. For some of us, the word makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. For some of us, the word instantly stresses us out. Some have a lot of it, some have just enough, and some literally have none. Unfortuantely, money is our source of life in this broken and corrupt world. At sixteen, I idealistically imagined a world where we didn't have to rely or function on money. (That was when I was looking for a job so that I could buy a car.)

I run into a lot of people, Christians and non-Christians alike, who also have problems with money - they have problems with giving their money to a church, or some pastor who does "who knows what" with their hard-earned income. This, in the Christian cirlces, is called tithing. I mean, why wouldn't you rather give it to a charity, or donate it to a good cause like finding a cure for AIDS or cancer, or giving it to one of those commercials that sponsor children in Africa. I'm sure my money would be better served elsewhere than to pay my pastor's mortgage. Right??

Hmmmm.

The more I study the Bible on tithing, the more I realize it really has nothing to do with money. Yep. You heard me right. God calls us to tithe - ten percent of our income - to the church, because He wants our hearts. It's a heart issue. It's also out of obedience that we give part of our income back to God. Malachi 3:10 says, "'Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,' says the Lord Almighty, 'and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.'" If there is one thing in my experience that is true of God, it is that He keeps His promise. Time and time again, He proves to me that my source of financial income absolutely does not come from any employer, but Him alone! I have too many examples of that to explain here. The bottom line is this: if we believe God's word and hold it as truth, then obedience is just the next step. And God wants your whole heart. Not the pretty and all put-together part, but the ugly and sinful part too. He wants to make you whole. I dare you to step out in faith and obedience, and watch what God does. See if He will "throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it"!

Entry #5- Mirrors

2010-01-04T21:16:00.000-08:00

I read somewhere once that on the moon, there is no dust.

You see, dust is made of dirt, skin cells, pollen, fabric fibers, etc. It's often kicked up by volcanic eruption, wind, and other things found on earth. Moondust is, in itself, an oxymoron.

Because there is no dust, when a raised object from the moon's surface is covered, you can't see under it. In essence, if you were to stand on the moon and hold up an umbrella, you would completely disappear to the people around you. We can see objects underneath coverings here on earth because of light reflected on microscopic dust particles bouncing off that covered object, making it illuminated and visible.

God has illustrated a very holy concept in His creation: on the moon, of all places!

What a thing to strive for: to hold up a reflective surface that points towards the Son and to completely disappear in the midst of His radiance. His glory would shoot out, piercing the darkness, while the Christian stands with outstretched arms, unrecognizable due to the comparison between the Light of life and the dull, unlit flesh: dead when devoid of His shining brilliance.

I pray that Earth becomes a little more like the moon.

Entry #4 - The Challenges That Be

2010-01-03T18:48:00.000-08:00

1. To avoid the absorption of ungodly ways of thinking:

-That sin is anything other than completely offensive to God, that sin is anything other than idolatry every time, and that God is anything less than all-satisfying at all times.
-That a physically attractive woman is more valuable than a godly woman.
-That pride is fundamental to being a man (and not wicked), and that pride is anything less than self-worship and hell-worthy.

2. To pursue God unhindered:

-By any lack of faith in Him, the value of His Word, the power of His Spirit, or His vindication.
-By sinful investments in the flesh.
-By disorganized finances.
-By lazy, undisciplined living.
-By a silenced conscience.

3. To pursue God Himself:

-In prayer;
-In the study of, wrestling with, memorization of and submission to His Word;
-In repentance and confession;
-In verbal, written, and benevolent expressions of His supreme value.

Entry #3 - The Glory of God & Sanctification

2010-01-02T10:55:00.000-08:00

"But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit." 2nd Corinthians 3:18

The work that God is doing in us is more than just helping us to sin less. In fact, it's also more than just helping us to do good things. The transforming work God is doing in us TRANSCENDS our behavior.

Have you ever attempted to set up some system of godliness in your life, to remove some particular sin, and found that you came up empty? Not just failing your system, but empty?

We're getting closer when we speak of and pursue God's changing work in our hearts. But the sad thing is that a lot of us stop there. We want God to make us a "good person" rather than a "bad person". How tame and uninspiring!

Here's the secret--not some underground tip, but what should never have left the forefront of our attention--The transformation God works in us is centered on His magnificent glory.

Of course you came up empty in your behavior-based pursuits of "holiness". Look at the passage above (2 Cor 3:18) and observe these truths about sanctification:

-Sanctification takes place while "beholding...the glory of the Lord"

-Sanctification transforms us into a particular image (the image of Christ)

-Sanctification is a process of increasing glory ("from glory to glory")

-Sanctification is the work of the Holy Spirit ("just as from the Lord, the Spirit")

Sanctification is not primarily the absence of something but primarily the greater presence of something. That "something" is the glory of God. The glory of God is the inspiring reality that spurs us on, it is the power from which transformation happens, and it is displayed in us as the result of sanctification. That is sanctification.

And sinning less? Of course. But how does that occur?

"For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live." -Romans 8:13

Keep the glory of God at the center of everything; what you value, what you love, what you hate, what you pursue. We are not called to impersonal moralism but called, through the Gospel, to enjoy the God of glory.

Entry #2 - Who is Sufficient?

2009-12-26T15:57:00.000-08:00

It's one full week since the previous entry. Distractions and undiscipline have abounded since then during the Christmas build-up and I am feeling very weak. In 2 Corinthians 2:15-16 Paul describes the weightiness of Gospel service, of being the aroma of Christ, which is the smell of life to those who are being saved, but the smell of death to those who are perishing. He asks rhetorically, "Who is sufficient for these things?"

The incredible nature of the spiritual warfares and realities going on around us are simply beyond us. We are weak, we are finite, we are sinners. Very easily I got caught up in other things and have realized my own insufficiency to write a blog called "the reality of Christ" by my own diminished sense of said reality.

But this is how God calls us to walk, sufficient not in ourselves but in Him.

Entry #1 - Why this blog?

2009-12-19T13:35:00.000-08:00

There's a mission statement/description at the top of the page. But I would like to share what triggered this.

First of all, certain burdens lay on my heart. They come from all different directions but ultimately (I believe) from God. Some of them relate to arising thought patterns (and heart postures) that I see in all different parts of the country (And I have lived in 4 states in the last 6 years). Some of them come from a desire to know how to respond properly. Some of it is an awareness of my own wicked heart, wicked tendencies, and desire to put those tendencies to death. But all of these burdens have one overarching desire: The desire to live engaged in the reality of Christ.

We read about Isaiah seeing a vision of God, and of seraphim, and his horror at this because of the unclean lips of both him and the people he dwells among. We read of Peter's extreme discomfort when first realizing who Jesus was (and Peter's statement, "I am a sinful man"). We read of the fierce boldness and the extreme self-forgetting love of the earliest church in Acts. We are told that they were simultaneously saturated in both the fear of the Lord and the comfort of the Holy Spirit.

Finally, I do some research and read about Jonathan Edwards weeping for an entire service while George Whitefield visited his church in Northampton, Massachusetts and reminded the congregation there about the revival they had experienced a few years prior.

In all these accounts, I see men and women living in the reality of Christ. It's a reality that I want and seek to live in. It is the glorious reality that the Church is called to live in. This is what drives me and this is what burdens me. In my opinion, the general trends that are popular right now have nothing to do with the reality of Christ. They are based on increasing the number of converts, but with an unbiblical definition of what a convert is, due to a lack of interest in real theology. We have no interest in the fear of the Lord because we've dismissed it as an old-fashioned, barbaric notion. And with that the comfort of the Holy Spirit seems to mean very little.

I want to love. I want to be bold. I want to fear. I want to be comforted. I want to weep. Not in a program, a method, or an emotional cleansing, but with my soul immersed and aware in the reality of Christ.